When we got engaged, I was convinced we were going to be those people.
You know the ones.
The couple who had every decision made months in advance. The ones who would have invitations addressed early, décor organized into perfectly labeled bins, and the final few months free to simply enjoy being engaged.
In fact, I remember telling people, “We’ll have everything finished by the end of March.”
Looking back now, I smile every time I think about that.
Because while our wedding at Fishermen’s Inn was everything we could have dreamed of, and more, the biggest lesson I learned had nothing to do with flowers, color palettes, or seating charts.
It was this:
Time flies faster than you could ever imagine.
Everyone tells you, “It’ll be here before you know it.”
You nod, smile, and glance at a calendar that’s still months away. June feels so far in the distance that it’s hard to imagine ever reaching it.
Until suddenly…it’s May.
Then Memorial Day.
Then, somehow, you’re pulling into your rehearsal at Fishermen’s Inn, wondering how your wedding is tomorrow.
What no one tells you is that planning a wedding doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
You still have work deadlines. Family gatherings. Home projects. Vacations. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Birthday parties. Busy weekends. The everyday rhythms of life don’t slow down just because you’re engaged.
Somewhere along the way, wedding planning quietly becomes one more thing competing for your attention.
That was certainly true for us.
We had every intention of finishing early. We had lists, spreadsheets, and all the best intentions. But as the months went on, life filled our calendar faster than we anticipated. Projects that felt weeks away slowly became tomorrow’s task, and before we knew it, my fiancé and I were staying up well past midnight during the week before our wedding, trying to finish details we had dreamed about for months.
Looking back, I never once wished I had chosen different flowers or hired different vendors or decided on a different venue.
Our vendors were incredible. The Fishermen’s Inn team cared for us so thoughtfully that we never had to worry about a single detail once the wedding weekend arrived. They made everything feel effortless, allowing us to simply be present with the people we love.
What I do wish is that I had given myself more margin…
Margin to enjoy the anticipation.
Margin to sit with my family instead of crossing things off a checklist.
Margin to slow down instead of racing toward the finish line.
I needed to give myself a bit more breathing room.
If I could offer one piece of advice to every engaged couple, it would be this:
Start before you feel ready.
You don’t need every RSVP before organizing your seating chart materials. Instead, break out the paper plates and sticky notes and start planning your seating chart as if everyone were coming. You can always remove or rearrange, but at least you will have a start.
You don’t need every final decision before creating a décor inventory. As you collect things, put them in a tote with the room or category that they’ll be going in (or a pile works, too!). That way, you can visualize what you already have and start a running list of what you still need.
You don’t need every wedding detail figured out before packing your photographer’s styling box. Choose a box and start adding things as you think of them. Then, make a list of what you would love to use for flat lays (e.g., your invitation suite, special accessories, your favorite perfume). As you collect these things, you can add them to the box and cross them off as you go.
Every small task you complete today is one less decision you’ll have to make during the week of your wedding.
Tiny steps have a way of becoming meaningful progress.
One thing surprised me about planning my own wedding: I was so focused on being an “easy-going bride” that I sometimes avoided making decisions altogether.
I told myself that the little details didn’t matter and that, however it ended up, would be perfect.
But here’s what I’ve realized since: there’s a difference between being easygoing and being intentional.
Being intentional doesn’t mean chasing perfection. It simply means giving yourself the time to thoughtfully create a day that feels like you.
Maybe that’s laying out your table décor months in advance to see how everything works together. Maybe it’s creating a detailed box for your photographer with meaningful heirlooms and stationery. Maybe it’s choosing the linen you’ve always loved simply because it makes your heart happy.
Those little decisions become some of the most personal parts of your wedding day. Make time for them.
It would be this: your wedding day will go by faster than you can imagine. The laughter, the hugs, the happy tears, the first dance, it all unfolds in what feels like the blink of an eye.
The greatest gift you can give your future self isn’t spending more money or finding the “perfect” Pinterest idea. It’s giving yourself enough time to enjoy the season you’re in.
Our wedding day was more beautiful than I could have imagined, and I wouldn’t change a thing about how deeply loved and celebrated we felt.
If I could change anything, it would simply be this: I’d finish the preparations sooner.
Not because the details mattered more. But because the moments leading up to the wedding mattered just as much.
xx,
Fishermen’s Inn Bride, Marissa
Venue | Fishermen’s Inn
Photographer | Rachael Osborn Photography
Florist | Designs by Janet
Hair & Makeup Artist | Patty McGuire Hair & Makeup Artists
If you’re beginning your search for an Illinois wedding venue, we’d love to show you around Fishermen’s Inn and answer any questions along the way.
Schedule your private tour today.
